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Samantha D.
I don’t know how, but this arrived before I even thought about ordering it. Did my dog place an order? Are they using my credit card? Am I in danger?
Jerome W.
My dog wore this, and a random man in a suit stopped us on the street and said, ‘Ah, we’ve been expecting you.’ Then he vanished. My dog just winked.
Nathan D.
This is no ordinary item. This is an artifact. My dog put it on, and I swear, for a moment, I saw every past and future version of them at once.
Chad M.
This thing is dangerous. My dog put it on, sighed deeply, and muttered, ‘I have seen too much.’ They now only respond to questions with cryptic riddles. I fear what they know.
Handcrafted. Dog-approved. Outrageously Stylish.
Each of our products is carefully designed using premium materials, because we believe every dog deserves to strut their stuff in comfort and style. Our expert crafters (who may or may not be under the direct supervision of very judgmental dogs) ensure that every stitch, seam, and detail meets the highest canine fashion standards.
Whether your pup is a Pocket Wolf or a full-blown Horse?, we’ve got sizes to fit all floofy icons. And yes, we tested these on real dogs. No, they did not sign NDAs. Yes, they now demand royalties in the form of extra belly rubs.
Why Your Dog Needs This…
- Handcrafted with love (and a little bit of dog hair, free of charge)
- Premium, comfy materials because only the best for your fashion icon
- Eco-friendly whenever possible, because a cleaner planet means more squirrels to chase
- Tested on real dogs (who now think they’re famous)
- Designed for maximum zoomie compatibility
- Guaranteed to make strangers gasp, ‘Oh my gosh, look at that dog!’
- Fits all sizes, from ‘Pocket Wolf’ to ‘Horse?’
Legend speaks of a dog so well-dressed, so impeccably styled, that heads turned, traffic stopped, and pigeons whispered in awe. That dog could be yours. Choose wisely.
Free shipping
Faster than your dog when they hear the fridge open.
Contact us 24/7
If you email us at 2am, know that we’re awake too. Staring. Waiting.
30-Day Returns
Your dog changed their mind? We get it, and we're ready.
100% Secure Payment
We protect your payment like a dog guards their favorite toy.
| Product # | BS-90 |
|---|---|
| Weight | Lighter than your dog’s sense of responsibility. |
| Sustainability | 100% guilt-free materials – your dog is basically an eco-warrior now. |
| Durability | Tougher than a dog’s refusal to come inside when they’re having fun. |
| Style Rating | Certified 12/10 on the ‘Oh my gosh, look at that dog!’ scale. |
|---|---|
| Fetchability | While not made for playing fetch, your dog will attempt to fetch it anyway. |
| Cuteness | So cute your dog’s about to have an influencer career. |
| Availability | Limited – once people see it, they panic-buy for their dog’s fashion legacy. |
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Zoomie Vision 3000
